unified theory

I used to work at an Italian restaurant. One of the waiters once confided in me that the restaurant was evidence that entropy theory was wrong. If entropy did exist, he contended, the establishment that currently employed us would have been reduced to a pile of rubble many years ago. At that moment, I agreed with him because I hated my job; because I hate jobs in general.

Comedy aside, that restaurant was poorly managed. But that tends to be the case when you let three Ethiopian Brothers run an Italian establishment. This is not to say they were not nice individuals or entirely incompetent, but if Sicily found out about the situation thumbs would have disappeared and certain diplomats would have shat themselves in executive leather chairs.

The humorous punch line of this anecdote arrived three days after this scholarly waiter bestowed his wisdom upon me; he quit the job citing marital dysfunction. I mean it’s not funny, I liked the guy, but the irony is wicked wicked. Seriously, i hope everything worked out for him and he developed the recreational drug habit he needed.

The lesson here (for people who don’t already get it) is that entropy theory is wrong when you don’t understand it. You see, this waiter brought upon the assumption that entropy would have increased in the same area—specifically the location of our restaurant. What he didn't understand was that entropy was increasing very chaotically. While he was waiting for the foundation of a bar/bistro to collapse entropy was banging his wife, probably with vigor. So don't even act like you know what I'm up too, and also if you want to give someone a college graduation present, don't give them enough money to last comfortably until about August without a job, it makes them get really nervous around mid-July, bitches.

i got five on it,
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