FUCK PLUTO

Literally, everywhere I go, and I mean fucking EVERYWHERE, I hear the masses plea for Pluto's inclusion in our galaxy. Pluto-mania is degrading, and I'm tired of hearing about it. We are a superior galaxy without it; this is evolution. Pluto is an impostor.

Pluto isn't even an impostor.

Pluto is nothing.

Let me ask you this America; Do you know Pluto?

Do you know that in 1984 three virgins were raped during an incident in Texas where the manager of a fast-food establishment was fatally shot four times in the eye, and that they never found the killer? Did you know that Pluto killed that manager and raped those girls? Because Pluto did. How do I know that? Because Pluto had the audactiy to tell me.

Look at Pluto. Look at Pluto right now. Pluto is smirking.

Pluto is irrationally pro-life. He wants fetuses to live so he can kill babies.

Pluto once wrote a mass email to corporate America claiming to be the long lost son of Rod Stewart, and requested discreet loans to help him pay for a DNA test that would prove his relation and allow him to collect on his deserved portion of Rod Stewart's estate. Thousands of Americans lent Pluto excessive sums of money. Why? Because as Pluto and Maury Povich know, America loves a good DNA test. America is also a trusting country. You know what Pluto did? Pluto took the money and put in a Bahamanian bank account, never to be seen again.

Pluto invented the Canadian Lottery.

Pluto covered Stairway to Heaven, and to this day likes its own version better.

Pluto will eventually crash into us.

Pluto is a huge Dave Matthews Band fan.

Pluto is a vegan.

I'm Dr. Koala Dick and I'm against Pluto

WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF HIS FACE!

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