Things This Kid is Allergic to:
Peanuts, Cats, Bee Stings, Wheat, Gluton, Dragons, Caps Lock, Riding in the Back Seat, Doing Laundry, Driving, Going to Class Sober, Condoms, Having Sex With Ugly Girls, Voting, Shampoo, Going Down, Losing Socks, Being Polite, Homework, South America, Charity Work, Relationships, Farts, Reading, Rain, Getting His Ass Kicked, Being Told What to Do, Super Mario Bros. II , Star Trek, CBS, Not Having a Pet Monkey, Going to Parties, Flying Stand-By, Girlfriends, Boyfriends, The News, French People, Carrot Cake, Picking Up his Cell Phone, Speaking Spanish, Valentines Day, Masturbating with His left Hand, Taxes, Medicaid, Sloppy Seconds, Crappy Cars, Punctuation, Calvin Coolidge, Bird Flu, Being Poor, Candyland, Fingerblasting Softly, Texas, Radio, Talking to Girls, Girl Talk, Independent Films, Winter, Cybering With Grils Older Than Fifteen, Chapstick, Wankers, Watching Animal Planet, Leather Pants, Being Convincted By a Jury, Military Service, Your Mother's Minge, Being Picked Last, Jizz, Waking Up Before Noon, Hasselhoff, Warming the Bench, Sasquatch.
1 comment:
dear Dr. Koaladick,
where did that kid get the helmet? i really fucking want one. it would be perfect to wear while riding my segway; you see, i live in Chicago and work as a segway cop on Michigan Ave. I was provided with a helmet by the police department, but, as my job/presence on the street is totally ridiculous and everyone knows it, my helmet was stolen by a group of teenagers on skateboards. the taunting i received from those bastard kids was horrific. unfortunately, the theft occurred on a hill and their skateboards were much faster than my segway in the chase that ensued. because the guys at the station thought this was as funny as the kids did, the police department refused to give me another one.
if i could get my hands on a helmet like the kid in the picture has, i think i could regain some respect from the Chicago PD and the citizens who frequent Michigan Ave. so if you know anything about where i can get one, please call me at 314 495-3340.
thanks,
Officer Roger Handcock
Chicago Police Department
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