Push This Button Or The Cripples Have Won

Ever walked by one of these buttons and wondered, 'Why is it that I work hard all day to put food on my family's table, using words like "workforce" and "payroll" and "jobsite," watching "This Old House" and knowing what the fuck Kevin O'Connor is talking about, driving home in my American car and listening to classic rock radio before I honestly, hard-workingly open my screen door made of honest, American aluminum, take off my CAT boots and blow the suds off a few honest, hard-earned Bacardi Silvers, and yet handicapped people don't even have to open doors for themselves? Why do they get to push that button while I have to use my callused God-fearing hands like a fucking caveman?" I think we all have. That's why Dr. Koaladick is letting the world know that these buttons aren't just for handicapped people anymore. SAY GOODBYE to that moment of guilty deliberation and START pushing that button for yourself. Handicapped people are handicapped: it's a fact. According to science there is very little we can do about that. So why can't everyone else benefit from their misfortune? (It's called 'the needs of the many'--look into it you PC-crazed left-wing nutholes.) Maybe this is how our society's disabled can finally give something back.
Wake up people: there is no reason to manually open doors when we have buttons to do that for us. We are living in the future and it's time to accept it. Push that button, or the cripples have won.