Dr. Koala Dick: For Your Information

*A new segement where the doctor lays down the science without even having to write sentences.

Things This Kid is Allergic to:
Peanuts, Cats, Bee Stings, Wheat, Gluton, Dragons, Caps Lock, Riding in the Back Seat, Doing Laundry, Driving, Going to Class Sober, Condoms, Having Sex With Ugly Girls, Voting, Shampoo, Going Down, Losing Socks, Being Polite, Homework, South America, Charity Work, Relationships, Farts, Reading, Rain, Getting His Ass Kicked, Being Told What to Do, Super Mario Bros. II , Star Trek, CBS, Not Having a Pet Monkey, Going to Parties, Flying Stand-By, Girlfriends, Boyfriends, The News, French People, Carrot Cake, Picking Up his Cell Phone, Speaking Spanish, Valentines Day, Masturbating with His left Hand, Taxes, Medicaid, Sloppy Seconds, Crappy Cars, Punctuation, Calvin Coolidge, Bird Flu, Being Poor, Candyland, Fingerblasting Softly, Texas, Radio, Talking to Girls, Girl Talk, Independent Films, Winter, Cybering With Grils Older Than Fifteen, Chapstick, Wankers, Watching Animal Planet, Leather Pants, Being Convincted By a Jury, Military Service, Your Mother's Minge, Being Picked Last, Jizz, Waking Up Before Noon, Hasselhoff, Warming the Bench, Sasquatch.

menstruation station

dear science,
can we please come up with a new word for this? vaginal bleeding is already gross enough without that 'trua' sound being involved. the last time i heard someone say this word i vomited all over a fucking bus. people thought that was gross, but i pointed at the person on the bus who said it and told them 'YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS WHOLE BUS GETTING PUKED ON. GET OFF! WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE WITH YOUR DIRTY VAGINA TALK. PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE MORE PEOPLE ARE SOAKED IN VOMIT.'
most of the other people on the bus did not agree with me and found my shouting to be inappropriate. fuck them. that word is sick and should be publicly banned. did you know there's an island somewhere on which cursing is illegal? it's because it's all owned by this one guy who makes the rules. i think i saw that on pbs one time. it's probably true.
i think that if thomas jefferson were around today, he would agree with me that the word 'menstruation' severely impinges on my rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. how can i be happy when i'm forced to think about that shit? i can't. jefferson, being a supporter of an agrarian economy, would also probably support a return to the golden age of forcing women to spend five days a month alone in a hut. also, the women should have to build the huts because this is in no way my problem.
in my expert medical opinion, that shit is gross.


this is simply unacceptable,
dr. koaladick